The Viagra Chronicles

I’m not so sure about it yet. I am well aware of what people think of using online pharmacies to buy ED pills such as Viagra. I know, they say it may be scam, the pills are not original, etc. I KNOW all that. But this is why I can make a good decision about it: cos I’m skeptical.

And Louis trusts me.  He cares about his health and he knows that i will only allow quality pills in our house. We’re not rich, but on that I’d rather a little extra and not taking any untested Viagra (or give one to my sweet husband). It’s like buying the best for our baby: I only buy the best for her, cos she’s so small and sensitive. The same goes to my husband, he’s also my baby.

So I started to look for an online pharmacy. There are loads, loads. Not all will ship internationally of course. And the price range is huge: you can find somewhere a Viagra Original for 12 EU/Pill or you can find it some place else for 24 EU. And everybody say it’s original, Pfizer Brand Viagra. How can you believe those places?

Should I go to an online pharmacy that only sell Men’s Health (that’s how they call ED medication) or should I use a general pharmacy?

And then I started to look around and saw other pills: we always used Viagra, but I saw the Cialis and Levitra, Kamagra, and other pills I’ve never heard about even. Yagara, for example. It looks great, it’s natural they say, and it’s VERY expensive. Is the price a guarantee for quality?

Or the generic pills: are they any good? Are they exactly like the original pill? For fever reducing etc. I have no problem using a local generic version – but is it the same when it’s about ED medication?

I saw tens of websites. I compared prices, read ED pills review, and I’m only more confused then before.

Later today I go to work, so I plan to ask Eddie about it. He has the friend who is a pharmacist, he will have the answer for sure.

Love,

Ella

Louis went to his doctor yesterday, to get a new prescription for Viagra. The doctor started to talk to him like a therapist, asking him too many questions. Now, you should know Louis to understand how impossible it is to pick in his private life. The man cannot hold his temper, he feels like he must defense himself. He can also become violent sometimes. It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does it gets really bad. And after that he’s depressed for days.

But with strangers such as doctors my husband can keep himself calm, most of the times. So he just cut the doctor in the middle: “What are all those questions? It feels like you don’t want to give me the prescription”. The doctor kept calm, Louis told me he was too calm and it annoyed the shit out of my dear Louis. The doctor smiled then and said: “I just want you to consider other options, to try other treatment to your ED problem. Viagra is not the only answer”.

Oh, really?

Louis came home pissed, put on the table some brochures about diet and sport that may help “light ED problem” like he has, according to his doctor. He wasn’t even interested in reading it, he was just too pissed at the whole thing. I think he hated the fact that the doctor can decide for him whether or not to use Viagra.

I calmed him down, tried to talk to his brain and not his ego. He has some ego, my Louis! I read the stuff for him. I read also on the internet. It said that certain foods have good effect on the erection. Watermelon, for instance. And they said some meditation and yoga postures may help too. I let Louis cool, and before we went to bed, while undressing, I told him what I read.

“And if it won’t help? I must beg that motherfucking doctor to give me Viagra so I can have normal sex life with my wife?”. He sat on the bed and wouldn’t look at me. Suddenly this big mad man looked so sad and small. He was a baby Louis. I sat behind him, put my head on his back. “You don’t have to. We try what he said, and if it won’t work we order pills online”.

Louis turned to me in surprise. “Is it legal? Or supervised?”

I didn’t know what to tell him.

The truth was that I heard about it from Eddie, my friend from the restaurant.

“Let’s check”.

I wanted the night to come with some optimism.

Louis smiled, for the first time today.

“You’re the best”.

I smiled too.

I’ve missed this online diary of mine so much, you have no idea. Things have been pretty nasty here lately, so I didn’t feel like writing. I actually felt like it – just could’t. I guess when you’re too emotionally loaded it’s hard to find the words. So what happened to us? Could it be that the Viagra ruined our marriage?

In continuous to my Viagra story, Louis my husband started to get too hooked on the Viagra. We started to have sex daily, long and good, and I started to get addicted to it as well. You don’t know you’re an addict until you find yourself without any pills left…and angry.

We were angry and confused. Viagra is not addictive, but sex is. Since we had a few days with no pills, we had to deal with it somehow. We tried having sex without it but Louis wasn’t hard enough. It kept going down, and he got just angry and sad. Me too, I’m too young to see my husband with no erection in bed!

We did all we could to keep our mind off sex. We went out, met friends for dinner, went to see Louis’ father (this reminds me I never actually completed HIS impotence story…will do later). It worked, we felt better not to be obsessed with sex and the pill. Until one night…

Louis came to pick me up from my work. I felt weak (low blood pressure) and finished early. We were sitting outside the restaurant, chatting to one other waitress. I saw Louis was looking at her…it made me horny. I love watching him looking at other girls. I can be jealous, but I enjoy it. After she left we started kissing. I didn’t want the guys from the restaurant to see us making out so I took Louis to a small street around the corner.

Louis pushed me against the wall and I felt he was so hard. It was too cold to get naked, but we masturbated each other and it was so much fun. We haven’t done it in ages, sex in the street. It was so good to feel simple passion with no pills again. We decided to try and do it more often now, sex with no pills. But I think it’s going to be hard to drag that poor waitress with us around the city

I guess we just need to choose now between Viagra and a second woman in bed..I’m not sure what I want more!

Love,

Ella

No, I’m not joking with this post title. I know Viagra is not addictive at all, but Louis got so used to perform on the blue pill, he doesn’t even try to touch me without it! OK, you ask, why were you left with no Viagra? Well, this requires a short shift to a side story…

Remember the night I found Louis on the sofa mumbling: ‘we’re out of stock?’ Well, that was not exactly true. I mean, Louis thought we had no pills left, but actually that wasn’t the case. After a year of using the blue pill I’ve decided we should try and have sex like in the old times…without the help of the pill. I love using Viagra, I mean, I love when Louis uses it, it makes him hard to keep on going and going…and it rebuilt our relationship and also built different intimacy between us. I was really more like a psychologist or a therapist than a pill! But I wanted to know that we can still be ‘nude’. Louis buys the big packs; 40 pills, plus 10 bonus pills, the original Viagra. I took 3 pills out of the pack and I put it in a secret place. I did it slowly, one pill at a time, and I also made sure we were out of pills the week his doctor was not available.

But instead a passionate night in the old way, I got a sleepy depressed husband who started to blame me I’m distant because we don’t have sex for a few days!

I tried everything; bubble bath, Thai  massage (yes including that extra part), romantic dinner, sexy underwear…Louis got horny, but his ‘little man’ was just to weak. I guess ED is a real problem.

So now we cannot even enjoy our days without sex to work more or something; we got too hooked on the Viagra effect. No, I must admit it now – not only Louis is to blame here…me too, I am a Viagra addict.

I had a lousy week so far. My dear husband Louis started to act weird, talking to me like all I care is sex. I have no idea what’s got into him, he also wouldn’t share much with me. I told him it’s natural I would be more into sex than he – I’m twenty years younger than he is!! But anyway, that’s irrelevant since Louis is all about sex himself: he’s just too sad about having to use pills to do IT. But why bitching about the present if I could brag about the past? Here’s the continuous of my Viagra affairs…

So my head was pounding with so many questions while I was waiting for my friend Anne to arrive at my place. I googled for what interested me most: Is ED genetic? After seeing the pills at Louis’ father’s house, I feared Louis knew all along he has a problem and kept it a secret.

My search resulted in zero result. Apparently, all scientists wish they could tell me the answer, but they still running researches and the answer is not clear. They couldn’t find a gene that is responsible for that, but they said it might be a gene mutation or something else. I actually ran a search now to see if there are any news, but it seems they are still stuck:

To study whether erectile dysfunction is hereditary or not a study was conducted. Married men and their son’s who are also married were put for the questionnaire. Questions regarding their medical history and sex life were asked to them. Questions regarding the erectile dysfunction were given more preferences. The study revealed that in the 25% of men having diabetes and suffering from erectile dysfunction had their son’s who were found to be having diabetes and suffering from erectile dysfunction. In all 45% of the cases were observed where both father and his son were found to be suffering from the erectile dysfunction.

The study was not able to clear the fact that erectile dysfunction has come to son from his father because some other factors were also found to be involved as the reasons of erectile dysfunction. Many scientists are trying to solve this question but nobody till date is able to give the satisfactory and reasonable answer. Some scientists are also claiming that erectile dysfunction can’t be hereditary as no gene is responsible for getting proper erections. Some scientist has said that no studies at the gene level are conducted for erectile dysfunction. But, majority of the scientists are in the favor that genes are responsible for the erectile dysfunction in the men.

See? No clear result as to my question, is ED genetic. Whatever, It didn’t matter much after all. Funny enough this last quote refers to the research in married men. As you probably understood by now, Louis’ father was not married. He was divorced since thirty years around, and when Anne came to my place we started guessing who was the reason for him taking the Cialis pills? Or where they many reasons?

Louis came back home, and after the first shock of seeing Anne and her three bags, he invited us all for a dinner outside. He wanted to show Anne the city life so she could decide better in which part of the city she wanted to live. Yes, Louis likes to be the ‘big daddy’ sometimes, but after all – it what he really is.

Anne was so cute that night, I remember it so clearly cos we’ve had our ups-and-downs and this was definitely an ‘up’ evening. We went to a small bistro, the chef is Louis’ friend. Anne thought he was cute but she was too drunk to make any decisions that night. A few months later, they will meet in a bar accidentally and spend three passionate days together in bed – what will lead to Anne’s getting fired and later engaged.

Shit. Louis’ back. I must be all smiles now – will continue later tonight maybe.

Love,

Ella

Last night Louis was asleep when I came back home after work. Not couch-sleeping, but a real, deep bed sleep. He almost never does it, only when he feels sick or something. I woke him up to see if he felt OK, and he mumbled: “I’m fine, we’re out of pills”. I felt at first very disappointed, no pills = no sex, and we were having it daily in the past year. But then I started to be afraid: could my man be addicted to Viagra? Are we Viagra addicts? I told myself I should talk to Eddie’s friend, the pharmacist, to ask if Viagra is addictive.

Anyway, to continue the past story: after our first great Viagra sex we started to use it constantly. It was very good so for a few months we didn’t think of using a different pill. Until…

It was another boring weekend, Louis had to be a few hours at his work. Home alone, i was getting lazy talking on the phone with my friend Anne. She wanted to rent a place in the city and asked to sleep over at our place for a few days until she does. I love Anne, but I also know Louis loves his peace and privacy. I told Anne it’s cool and she should come and stay as long as she wants. Just then I get a call waiting from Louis’ father. I didn’t answer at first but he insisted.

Louis’ father is almost 80 years old and doesn’t want to hear of living in a Home or something. Who can blame him? He has a nice flat, soaked in green and in good memories. He’s so cool this old man, I think when I first met him it made me more sure of my decision to stay with Louis – who cares he’s much older than me, if at 80 he can still be so wonderful. I tell you, the men in that family just charm me. So father said he cannot change the temperature on his AC and he’s freezing now. I told him to open all the windows and I’ll take a taxi and be there in ten minutes.

Seven minutes later I arrived at father’s place. It was indeed chilling, despite the open windows. Poor father, was there on the front stairway escaping his home. I tried to change the temperature or switch the AC off using the remote – but it just didn’t work. I opened the remote from the back, I thought it might be the batteries. I went to the kitchen to grab a knife to open that old thing, but the knife was too big. i went to the bathroom to use a nail clipper or something. The whole time father was outside since the place was Iceland.

As I’m using the nail clipper I spot in the bathroom’s bin a box of Cialis. You know, the Viagra-like drug. I was at first ignoring it, my brain didn’t process yet what it just saw. But then – does Louis’ father use Cialis? Wow. I mean, the man is eighty years old. And why doesn’t he use Viagra? And does Louis know? Maybe he knew the whole time? Maybe their ED problem, their Impotence, is genetic? Maybe Louis knew about it since he met me? Maybe this is why he wanted a younger wife, so he’s more aroused and he thought this way the ED might skip him? Was ED a genetic illness??

So many questions I felt, so confused I felt, and slightly embarrassed, that I don’t even remember how I fixed the AC remote exactly, but it was fixed and I hurried back home. I didn’t even let father call me a taxi, I told him I felt like walking.

I did walk back home. It’s a main road, and I thought that all those passing cars might distract me from all the questions that pound my head. I hated Louis now, I despised his father, and all men. Every man passing me I couldn’t look at, I wanted to kill all men, I wanted to divorce Louis who’s been lying to me, that impotent husband of mine.

I came back home and called Anne.

“Could you come sooner? Like today?”

Until Anne was to arrive at my door and help me deal with those bad feelings, I switched on the computer. I opened Google and typed in: Is ED a genetic illness?

Will tell you all about it later,

Love,

Ella

Louis got the note from the doctor and bought some original Viagra from our local pharmacy. He also got a couple of pills for test, to see how he feels using it. But he actually bought a pack on the way home before trying the test pills. I came home late that night, Louis took the pill just when I told him I was leaving work. It felt a bit too planned, but it’s not so different than putting a condom in your pocket before going out.

I arrived almost 45 minutes later, Louis was actually kind of hot already. They say Viagra only makes you hard if you’re already sexually aroused, but I guess Louis got aroused by the thoughts of what it will be like with the Viagra. Make sense to me, I also read something about how Viagra makes you horny.

Louis was so gentle, I was afraid the pill would make him a disgusting beast, I read some men couldn’t help themselves while on the pill. But Louis was very much himself, he licked me forever and he stayed hard the whole time, then we had a long slow sex, better than we’ve ever had. I reached orgasm so many times, I thought I was in heaven.

So our first try with the blue pill was a great success, we both enjoyed the sex and each other. The pill lasted not too long, so he could feel relaxed again after a few hours. Well, the excitement from the great sex itself lasted much more..

Love,

Ella

We were driving to my parents on a rainy Sunday morning. I had all the information about Viagra and Impotence I needed to actually talk about it with my husband Louis and not feeling too dumb. I waited until we were on the highway to bring it up. I wanted us both to be in a neutral surrounding. So I won’t be talking about Viagra with him and then a neighbor will pop in front of us. I wanted Louis to feel safe. I knew it might be a sensitive issue for him.

So once we’re on the highway, slow driving because of the rain, I tell him – “i wanted to talk to you about something”. Louis was laughing, tried to turn this into a joke, but I insisted: “It’s important to me”.  OK. Louis pretended to be serious and I just said it: “Maybe we can use Viagra to bring our sex back to what it was?”.

Wow. Louis’ face didn’t move. There was a long silence, probably two seconds but it took forever. Then he was laughing. i looked at him like he was insane. He sure acted like that. “But baby, I’m not THAT old yet!”. That’s what he said. I couldn’t tell him about Eddie’s friend that is young and using Viagra, so I told him I read about it on the internet and it’s for all ages if you’re healthy.

BANG! my head almost flew to the front windshield, as a big Jeep just touched our car in the traffic. Shit. Louis looked behind, it was a young guy in that thank-you-daddy big black Jeep. Fuck. We stopped the cars, Louis and the guy exchanged details, Louis started to shout on him in the beginning but then relaxed and was way too nice to someone who could easily spoil our weekend.

20 minutes later, we’re back on the road. The skies clear up, it’s a nice day. I don’t mention Viagra again, Louis puts a CD in the car stereo. We don’t talk, just sing and look around us. The view changes from the highway to the small towns in the forest. We even spot a Bambi. I don’t think about the Viagra anymore, I’m sure Louis and me will be OK.

We arrive at my parents, my brothers are there, we talk about their business, Louis is super cool, helping my mom putting together some shelves she got in Ikea. We say goodbye and we’re back on the road. It’s dark now, tomorrow is Monday. Louis is kissing me on a red light. He says he’ll see his doctor. He says he wants to keep me satisfied. I’m the happiest girl in the world.

Where were we? I was just telling my new friend Eddie about my frustrations as an unsatisfied wife. Eddie is a young guy, very thin and energetic, so much that I used to think he’s narcotic but found out it was only his DNA. He worked in the kitchen and was one of the coolest guys around. He never tried to get you to sleep with him, never actually talked about sex. He was 25 then, and I felt comfortable talking to him. Quickly he became my adviser on anything, from tasty dishes on our menu to books. Also on sex. As he never talked about it, it was easy for me to bring it up. I didn’t feel he can use the things I say against me or something.

Anyway, when sweet Eddie heard about my problems with my older man, he told me he had a friend who is a pharmacist and he had some erection problems himself (this friend, not Eddie). He wasn’t old or anything, but he had issues with sex, probably more psychological than physical (yes, ED is many times connected stronger to your mind than to your penis). So this friend practically solved his erection problem using Viagra, and Eddie thought we should try it. Make an appointment with the doctor, get the prescription, buy the blue pill and enjoy yourselves. It made me feel weird hearing this: my man needs a pill to have sex with me? I’m young and attractive, and he’s not that old yet! But the friend of Eddie was young and had Impotence problems too, so I felt better about it. Kind of.

The next step was to bring this up to Louis. For sure I wasn’t about to tell him where I got the idea from. Louis is maybe not the jealous husband, but that his wife is talking about his penis with another man  is a different story…I read about  the Viagra pill and its substitutes until I felt comfortable enough to talk about it with Louis. I was impressed to find some Herbal Viagra and other green pills around that dealt with ED.

A few days later, it was a Sunday (the only day we had more hours together), we went to my parents for lunch. It’s an hour drive so I’ve decided to use the way there and talk about the Viagra solution. I was nervous, hardly ate anything before. It sounds so weird now, I was really heavy about it in the beginning, like it was a fatal issue to use or not to use Viagra. But hey, both of us were not so satisfied anymore, and it became worse every week now.

Louis was in a good mood that morning. It was rainy and he loves the rain. He enjoys strong weather, like he enjoys strong tastes and strong emotions etc. A passionate man, my Louis. But I could never anticipate his reaction to what I had to say.

All about our rainy drive and the discussion we had over that little blue pill…on my next post.

Love,

Ella

PR: wait… I: wait… L: wait… LD: wait… I: wait… wait… Rank: wait… Traffic: wait… Price: wait… C: wait…

Let’s start in the beginning. Make sense, eh? So when I first started to date Louis he was 38 and I was 17. We used to meet everyday (we worked together in the restaurant) and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. We used to have sex everywhere, almost: the back garden of the restaurant, the restrooms, the tables after closing time. We never did it on the bar, because Louis was too bulky to feel comfortable there.

Anyways, that was our beginning. Sex, sex, sex – yes, three times a day. I was impressed by how Louis could keep up with me, and I never felt his age was an issue. I actually felt that it made him want me more. We got married and moved away from the area of my family. I felt very good, relaxed and free for the first time. I had my own life, my man, my house, my car. We even took a cat. Louis thought I should be more independent and work in a different place. I was very proud of having a husband that didn’t want to control me, and I left his restaurant. Of course I had a superb LOR

We saw each other much less now, and didn’t have the time to have sex three times a day anymore. Sometimes we did it in the morning before Louis left to work (I started my day much later), sometimes at night. I remember this one time, it was late at night when I came back from work, Louis was a bit drunk on the sofa watching tv. We started to make out, and I felt it wasn’t strong like it used to…Louis said he’s tired and drunk so it’s harder for him (that same day we did it in the morning too, so that would be the second time). By then he was 41. It was two years ago, how time flies!! We went to sleep without sex that night, but I haven’t thought of the term ‘Impotence’ yet.

That was the point where it all started. I don’t think we did it twice a day again, and gradually I felt that even our once-a-day intimate moment became shorter and shorter…I  used to enjoy multiple orgasms with him, but it stopped. Our sex became almost mechanic, and I started to feel unsatisfied.

Since I worked in a restaurant he never stepped in, I felt comfortable sharing my worries with my new friend there, Eddie. Knowing Eddie has changed my life, our lives. But I’ll tell you all about it later, now I must go pick up Lucy from the kindergarten.