The Viagra Chronicles

Louis got it bad the last couple of weeks. He keeps asking for sex. I mean, we’re not teenagers anymore (were we ever?), twice a day is too much for me. he wants more, I want less. I even told him the night before that he should stop taking Viagra, if he cannot handle the side effects.

‘What Side effects?’  he asked, still too horny to focus.

i wrote about this before, but never have I felt it so strong in me. i thing that little blue pill, that little devil blue pill, is getting in the way of our relationships. Louis is older than me, I should be the one with the higher libido. But somehow the take-the-pill-and-get-it-on atmosphere doesn’t work for me anymore.

i want to feel like our sex life is natural, not chemical. I want to live with a 40-something husband, not a horny teenager. I’m just too tired. And I’m also scared, I’m scared of discovering that in the last two years (or is it 3 by now?) our relationship became all about my man’s penis.

I’m frustrated, and scared, and I hate Viagra.

Love,

Ella