The Viagra Chronicles

First off, some updates regarding my affair…it’s over. I can’t lie to my husband, I don’t want to become the people I hate most, and I have no intention of living double life. It’s exhausting, above all.

So I’m back with Louis now, and I say ‘back’ coz it really feels like I’ve been away for some time now. We hardly had sex, he didn’t even try coz I was so distanced, and went out quite a lot. i actually realized that once I saw his pack of Viagra pills, still not empty after almost a month (he buys the big boxes, those with 40 pills inside, you get good discounts on them).

I came to Louis and told him ‘why don’t you come early tonight, we can be together’. Louis was happy, he even said: ‘oh, she’s back..’. I felt embarrassed then. I thought of Adam and became to horny to control myself. But I waited for him. I waited for my husband. until then, I had some hours to kill, I took a long bath and told myself this is how it should be. I’m married and happy. Before I took that bath I put our kid at my parents – told them Louis bought tickets for a movie. They were happy enough to see her, so that was fine.

Louis came and I was pretty aggressive, pushing him to the bed and taking both of our cloths off. He told me he didn’t take it yet and I said ‘lets try without it’. He didn’t want to! he said that we haven’t had sex for a week now and he wants to do it the right way.

Can you believe it? He wouldn’t even try. I think he gave up his own body, now totally relying on the pill to do the work for him (half of the work, that is, coz you must be horny for Viagra to work – but that part is on me!).

Anyways, I’m so upset now I hate Viagra, I hate Louis, and I hate myself for killing my affair too early. I’m horny, dammit.